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I miss it you know.
Feeling the keys,
dancing beneath my finger tips
pattering raindrops on top of empty shells.
"Shells? What shells?" you may ask.
The shells hiding the marble.
Can you find it?
No. That was a wrong guess.
Your eyes have detoured your mind
Just as my mind detours
Hiding the words, my smooth round marble,
Passionate pink lips cannot say.
Looking down I am watching
my fingertips dancing.
Yes, that is what I miss. Dancing fingertips
striking keys, stroking thoughts,
caressing images...
Detour.
I miss it you know.
Writing myself into alphabetic characters,
silent symbols,
anticipating the rhythmic tone,
shells oscillating,
Uncovering the marble
Breathing me back to life.

Happy New Year

transparent curtains closing
gazing eyes hypnotized at the crystal ball
lowering
amongst thundering voices
whistles piercing
human emotions spreading like
peanut butter and jelly
or
chili peppers with anchovies
gaze deep into your crystal ball
capture everything dear to you
love life
live to love.


Happy New Year

smiles and hugs,
jessie

The Ride

come ride with me on flaming red dreams
sealed among borders of the onyx sky
flying towards heaven
sparkling lights we become
intertwining, exploding,
combustion;
One

Crunching leaves beneath my boots
our steps are not in time
blowing wind
minus moving limbs.
life, a frosty design.
we keep walking,
minus voices talking
silently singing out-of-tune.
reaching the edge looking down below
contemplating direction our wind will blow.
one last time
turning facing one another,
falling snow
streaming down
our lips touch together, with
breathing whispers
fading desires, destiny is foretold.

I wish I knew you then when you were small
do you think of me
are you the same boy now as you were then or
has life chased away your childhood dreams
do you wonder if life chased away mine
would I have noticed you in teenage years
would you have noticed me
I imagine you with longer, curly, dark locks,
have you ever wondered about me

so many years passed—like an old Roberta Flack song,
"The first time ever I saw your face..."
I smiled inside.

Now memories flow through gray matter passages,
memories of you sitting with open arms,
a quick touch of your hand on mine,
an encounter in the stairwell,
gossip of your world,
I wish I knew the intricacies of your heart
do you think of me,
I still think of you

For My Son

There’s stillness in the house now.
It was there before, but I had tricked my mind into
Believing it was only temporary.
My eyes are fully open now—this is my new reality.
Longing to see your black car in our driveway, yet
Knowing the cement will be vacant.
Your new life has begun.
Memories rush through my mind
Pictures, videos, flying like autumn leaves.
Rustling images, Imax quality, 3D vision, surround sound,
Filaments of days, years that passed quickly by.
I long to hold you in my arms,
Run my fingers through your buzzed hair
Kiss your bearded cheek.
You have entered a new rite of passage.
How could eighteen years
Sweep through our lives like
Fluttering wings of butterflies?
My boy is now a man.
I will love you always my boy,
My man,
My son.
There is stillness, but not in
My heart.

We took my son to college over the weekend. Even though his commute time is small, and he will be home on weekends...it's not the same. It's harder than I thought it would be.

A Memory in Brown

Cool sand nestled between our toes,
holding hands, the shore is crowded—yet,
all we hear are the ocean waves
as the wind nudges rippling grey waters
on top of our sinking feet
inside the belly of the beach.
Oh,
The heaviness of your hand, the
strength of your fingers
gently cuddling mine
connecting our thoughts
sigh,
lifting my face,
blue eyes hidden behind shades,
All I see is the
soft brown of your skin,
the chocolate kiss in your eyes,
hmmm,
the desire to kiss your mouth
so fine.

Morning Awakening

Looking for excellent poetry? Here's the place to go:
One Stop Poetry, One Shot Wednesday

I awake slowly every morning sleep tucked around my eyes
I awake slowly every morning in silence and desire.
Rush hour traffic does not contain me
Because I awaken slowly.
I awake slowly every morning light streaming through dirty panes
I awake slowly every morning in silence and desire
Memories move with effort
Because I awaken slowly.
I awake slowly every morning cloudy skies block the light
I awake slowly every morning in silence and desire
Morning birds and crows calling to their mates
As I awake slowly.
I
Miss
You.

Birthing Fiction

Tap, tap,
My fingers dance
Tap, tap
Words splash
Tap, tap
Memories clash
Tap, tap
The life of fiction.

Theme Thursday

It's been awhile since I've contributed alongside these gifted colleagues. My post today is simple.




My Prayer for You

The passage from our world to heaven is found in the light

May your God bless you with:
Serenity of love,
Passion for others, and
Hope.


Warm smiles,
Jessie

At What Cost?

Below is my contribution to the One Shot Wednesday Poety hosted this week by http://dustus.wordpress.com/. Take a look around and join us.

Evening approaching with
A heavy dark fog

Treading stealth soldiers
Clutching power
Dressed like machines
Swarming the area
Like bees to a hive, as
People sleep on.
The red morning sun silently rose
Chaos yet unrecognized.
Homes were ravaged
Death filled the air
Honeysuckle sweet, and rose water divine
Were replaced with the stench
Of our own demise.
Erupting cries filled smoking dense air, as
Machines growled at unsuspecting
Peace followers,
Human mounds clumping
One with the ground.
Flying vessels dropping packages
Exploding on site
Until the skies ripped open and
Angels cried.
Hours became days, days into years
Our world once again divided between
Power of greed and humanity not seized.

Kallie and Jeff -- Conclusion

Kallie decided it was time to get ready. She needed out and away from the house. She needed to be busy with the sights and sounds of other people, people she didn’t know, around people she didn’t love. Once she gathered herself together she went down to the coffee shop for breakfast. ‘Surely a big plate of French toast, bacon, and orange juice and coffee will make me feel better’, she thought to herself.

Kallie did feel better after breakfast and decided to do some window shopping and headed over to Soft and Sexy, her favorite lingerie store. I’m going to find the perfect little something to surprise Jeff when he comes home, something a little naughty and a little n-i-c-e. ‘Oouu, this is per-f-ect!’ Kallie thought to herself. With her purchase boxed and wrapped, she left the store smiling and humming her favorite song, No One, by Alicia Keys.

Once home Kallie decided that she would keep a diary of her thoughts, memories, and dreams of her love for Jeff. Then once Jeff was safely home, she would plan a nice romantic dinner. The diary would be a present to Jeff, and she would be the desert. Smiling at the idea, and feeling a bit aroused, she started going through old pictures of the two of them together. She worked on this project every night, and each night Jeff would come into her dreams, laying down soft memories of the two of them entangled once more.

Months slowly passed and no word from Jeff. Kallie knew this was normal; however, deep inside she sensed something was terribly wrong. Her dreams became different. Jeff appeared more distant, he began to reach for her; yet, they could never touch.

Finally one evening Jeff came to her in her dream once more. It was June 1st, their second wedding anniversary.

She met Jeff at the airport, falling into his arms he whirled her around. His body was hard, and she wanted him as they kissed. Finally home, Jeff picked her up and carried her into their home, laughing and kissing. Once inside Kallie gave him the diary. His eyes filled with tears as they looked together at each page and Kallie read the verses she had written for him.

“Oh Kallie. I love you so much. Thank you for giving me our book of memories. During this past year, I have forgotten so much—but never you. I will never forget you.”

He leaned towards her, as Kallie moved the book onto the coffee table. Leaving the book open to the last page they looked at together. Like the intensity of the ocean waves, they explored their depths, opening crevices that had been unexplored for too long, and just like the tides they swept away the old pain, and love was renewed.

A few hours later Kallie and Jeff went upstairs to their bedroom where Kallie had Alicia Keys’ song, No One, playing softly in the background.

“Wait here for just a moment, I’ll be right back.” Kallie whispered.

A few moments later, “Jeff, hun, close your eyes.”

“Why? I want to remember seeing you as you come through the door. Just one more time. Please?”

“Okay. Are you ready?”

“For you, always,” Jeff softly said smiling.

The bathroom door opened slowly as Kallie stood there in the darkness with only the moon filtering through the sheer curtains. The glow, accenting her curves, and highlights in her light hair, her image brought tears to Jeff’s eyes. Slowly standing, be began walking towards her. Gazing into her eyes, he leaned down kissing her lips, sliding his fingers under the straps of her barely there camisole; as it silently fell to the ground.

Kallie awoke the next morning, refreshed, until she realized that once again, it was only a dream. A very vivid dream. Lying on the floor outside the bathroom door was the camisole she remembered Jeff seductively removing. Walking downstairs she stopped in disbelief. There on the coffee table was her diary, still opened to the page where she and Jeff left it the evening before.

A couple of months later she noticed changes in her body. Her breasts were becoming tender, more than usual. Certain smells made her feel sick, and she was tired constantly. She decided to go to the doctor as the symptoms became regular.

“Well Kallie,” Dr. Foreman said, “Congratulations.”

“For what?”

“You are two to three months pregnant.”

“What? That can’t be. I haven’t been with anyone. I’m waiting for my husband to return from Iraq.”

“Well, immaculate conception is not an option here Kallie. You must have been with someone.”

“No doctor. You are wrong! Jeff is the only man I have been with. And he’s been in Iraq for the past twenty-seven months.”

“Kalle, I want you to take these prenatal vitamins every morning. No caffeine, alcohol or cigarettes. Get plenty of rest, eat well and get some exercise. I also suggest you think about telling the father. Make sure you begin scheduling your upcoming appointments.”

“Dr. Foreman I swear to you, I haven’t been with anyone!” Kallie’s face was tear-stained.

“Kallie, please take a few moments to get your nerves under control and wash off your face. If you need someone to talk to, I can recommend some doctors to you. They can help you deal with your situation—mentally.”

Kallie washed her face, took a deep breath and left the office. Once home she walked into the kitchen and made some tea—then she heard a knock on the door. Standing there at the door were two men in uniforms.

“Mrs. Kallie Green?”

Trembling, Kallie softly responds, “Yes.”

“May we come inside for a moment? It’s about your husband Jeff.”

Robotically Kallie lets them in, offering them a seat on the couch.

“We regret to inform you, your husband's plane went down in Iraq a year ago. We haven't informed you sooner because we have been trying to locate his plane. His remains have been found and they are at the morgue on the base.”

Kallie and Jeff -- A Love Story

Kallie and Jeff had been childhood sweethearts since they were five; and even though they had dated other people in high school and while Kallie was in college—they knew they were destined to be together. It’s something the heart just knows. It was a beautiful June 1st dusk; after the tides had mated with the camel sand, Kallie and Jeff were married.

Kallie graduated with her BA in English and was immediately offered a teaching position to kids less fortunate than her and jumped at the opportunity. The pay was lousy, but monetary rewards are not always the ones that help you sleep at night; Jeff had enlisted in the Air Force and was called to duty in Iraq. They were lucky though in one aspect, they did enjoy a honeymoon in Hawaii before they came home and Jeff began his active duty.

On their one-year anniversary, Jeff surprised Kallie with a phone call.

“Jeff honey, I miss you so much. I keep thinking back on our honeymoon. The early morning swim in the pool. The skinny dipping in the ocean.”

“Kallie, you know this line may be secure, but it’s not private.”

“I know,” she said chuckling, “I just miss and need you so much. Besides, I enjoy taunting and teasing you.”

“Don’t I know it!” Jeff responded laughing.

Suddenly sirens erupted in the background,

“Kall hun, I’ve got to go now. Remember I’ll always love you and your playful attitude. Here’s a kiss.”

“Be careful love, I miss and need you more than you’ll ever know.”

All that remained was a dial tone.

Tears flowed down Kallie’s face. She didn’t have a good feeling about this. Cradling the phone tight against her chest, she crumbled down on the bed, crying, and remembering the last time they made love.

Soft breezes were blowing as the white sheers moved to the tunes of the island. The soft, flow of the ocean as it flowed, his hands, strong, tender; knowledgeable. She breathed in the sensation of his lips caressing her, and the gentle sound of his voice whispering his own special blend of poetry. Her body moved with his. The breezes, ocean, bodies, all entangled into a magical and passionate affair, Kallie’s loneliness was forgotten and Jeff was inside her mind, body, and soul. They were once again united.

Deeply sighing, she smiled. Sleeping better than she had for the past year and a-half.

Kallie awoke to the sound of the rain falling on the windows—all traces of Hawaii gone. She reached over for Jeff, and discovered he wasn’t there. Silently she waited for the sound of the shower, the smell of fresh brewed coffee, but there was nothing.

“Jeff? Jeff hon? Where are you? I had the most fabulous time last night, well, as usual,” as she chuckled. “Jeff?”

Kallie stopped for a moment, then went to Jeff’s closet and noticed all of his clothes were gone. Panicking she started thinking back to the previous day and remembered the phone conversation. She felt like someone punched her in the stomach as she remembered he was in Iraq, flying an airplane, in the war zone. Sliding down the wall, the tears fell once more as she asked God, “Why? We don’t belong there. Why?”

This concludes tomorrow.

Thank you Otin for providing me with this idea. I hope it lives up to your expectations.

Ashes to ashes—Dust to dust.

Tick, tick the voice of time speaks.

We once stood on this soil
our sacred ground,
planted homes breathing the echoes of
laughing children, mothers, fathers.

We stood on this soil, our sacred ground.

Time warps, as
tears flow from our blinking eyes,
observing bleeding rivers and stained drowned towns,
camouflaged by green darkness, creeping,
rampaging destruction filters in;
birthing the essence of death.

Our beloved home claimed by
foul evil creatures dancing on fresh
burning red soil
leaving mangled corpses, food for the scavengers.
Safety does not always find refuge in numbers.

Weeping, asking,

What happens to these lost spirits
plagued by war, power raped
over money, land, greed, or hate,
are they trapped inside dimensions unseen?
Forced to replay tragedies, the living can’t see,
an unseen hell?
Do they wander through their land searching for why?

Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust

What becomes of the lost spirits,
The innocent ones?

Walk Like an Egyptian

They walk like Egyptians
From the Bangles tune
Strutting, head gliding leading their way
Waddling like penguins
I laugh at them

These Egyptian, penguin walking creatures
Sometimes carry messages
Secretive words
Meant for a special someone
Have you seen your pigeon today?

pic credit: http://licc.us/winners/zoom.php?eid=2-7272-09&count=4



My Love,

Your warm breath against my right ear lobe; breaks me away from security;
Like a fresh green leaf, falling from my rooted tree
I float down towards your lushness
Carried only by your whispers
Anticipating
Arrival.

Loving You Always,

Gliding Into Heaven's Gate

Anticipation fueled me as I sat on the white boat filled with people chattering among themselves. Many were giddy with excitement, while others were hesitant over the unknown. For me however, I once had dreams of being a marine biologist. This excursion was like giving me the world.

“Okay everyone, listen up. As we get off the boat, make sure you shuffle your feet when you walk. This is for your protection as well as the stingrays. You want to make sure not to step on the ray, especially their tail. The rays know you are here to feed them, so don’t be alarmed if they swim up to you, brush against you. When you feed them, it will feel like a vacuum cleaner against your hand. Before we leave the area, I will show you how to hold one.”

In the beginning there was chaos. People forgetting to drag their feet along the sandy ground, instead they would walk quickly or dart from side to side inside the waist-high, clear turquoise water. Some of the younger children were screaming and crying. Even some of the adults would only stay in the water for a matter of minutes. Not me though.

It was getting close to time to leave and the guide had already been with several people showing them how to hold the ray. I knew the only way I was going to get my chance was to force myself into the circle and just reach out. By doing so, my chance came.

“Hold your hand under each wing. Don’t move, relax, and keep his wings just barely under the water; don’t try to lift him out. Okay, now slide your hands under my hands, I’m going to let go and you will be holding him.”

It was at that moment I became one with the ray. My heart soared to new heights. I was on this unbelievable, high. For me during those moments, nothing else existed but me and the lightness of this awesome creature who was probably 24-28” spanning wing to wing. I had glided into heaven's gates. The guide asked me quietly, have you ever done this before? When I answered, “No,” he said, “You’re a natural.”

I had watched as others attempted to hold the ray; however, it never lasted more than a couple of seconds. Either excitement or fear, like an invisible cloak enclosed their bodies, and the ray sensed their feelings of awkwardness, and flapped its wings seeking freedom. Yet, when my turn came, the ray was satisfied, peaceful. We had connected and become one with the water and the universe of life.

Peaceful serenity faded away when the guide said, “Okay. It’s getting late; we’re going to have to go. Slowly let your hands move down toward the sand.” I didn’t want to let go. I stood still, ignoring him for as long as I could. I didn’t want to leave my sanctuary; however…

This is a rough draft from a memory seven years ago.

Essence

My Love,

The wind sighs at the mere mention of your name, as unspoiled daises dance in flight, to tunes of whippoorwills.

Oh how I long for your smooth caress against my beige skin. To feel the warmth of your embrace as I drift into heaven; this, is the memory I wish to hold for all eternity.

Yours forever,

Jack and Jill

Jack’s eyes met Jill’s,
Tenderly she said,
"Walk with me, talk with me, be my friend."
Jack earnestly replied,
"I’ll walk with you, talk with you, love you till the end."
Walking hand-in-hand through
Wildflowers so sweet
Together they ran in pastures
Filled with lush, tall grass green
As it swayed in the warm
Lover’s breeze.
One day they approached a darkened forest
Hands clasped tight, together,
Breathing in the last breeze of sapphire air.
Cautiously entering darkness ahead,
Clustered with weeping trees
Where the sun’s rays dare not tread,
Upon the living inside this forsaken place.
For here is home to ugly bugs, and
Snakes, living among scathed, dead matter;
It’s frightening, mournful, a
Digression from heaven.
Once again Jill softly spoke,
"Walk with me, talk with me, be my friend";
And Jack responds,
"I’ll walk with you, talk with you, love you till the end."
A screeching hoot-owl,
Twigs snap-snap-snap, birds wings flap against the wind,
Run Jack said, we can face the coil. Yet,
Somewhere along the dark forest with no light
Fingers lost their grip so tight
Promises made till the bitter end,
Were broken and lost, and
Left Jack all alone and Jill searching within.

In the Outside world

Bird seed poured onto the wooden rail,
Squirrels, cardinals, bluebirds, and crows
Come to feast.
My kitchen window is dirty
But I don’t mind
Even through spots on the glass
Harmony exists.

Lunch

My friend asked me, “Where do you want to go for lunch?”

”I want to go where the pretty people are not, where self-importance is left outside, I want to go where the average person is, I want to go where I belong.”

“Okay,” she says, “Where is that?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t found it yet.”